Professor Namewithheld Gets in Trouble

My Dog Ate It

2006-02-24T06:04:00.000-08:00

I'm nothing if not a magnificent apologizer & excuse maker. I'm so good it'll be on my tombstone.

This semester I'm ~~hitting on new girls and trying to get rid of this nasty case of herpes~~ teaching new stuff and working on the book deal. Way time consuming.

You know how low my self-esteem is and how clingy I am. Don't leave me.

Back soon.

In Today's "No Shit" Department...

2006-02-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

Stating the obvious...

Atomic Agency Sees Possible Link of Military to Iran Nuclear Work
By ELAINE SCIOLINO and WILLIAM J. BROAD
The International Atomic Energy Agency reported that Iranian research into high explosives, a missile warhead design, and uranium processing were connected.

College Professor Cures Constipation

2006-01-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

Here's an email I just sent to Joseph Ellis in response to his piece in today's NYT.

Dr. Ellis:

I'm trying to decide which activity I'm gonna enjoy more: one, crucifying in my history classes next week your op-ed in today's Times; two, tearing the op-ed out and shitting on it (I've already pissed on it); three, setting fire to your books I own.

Sincerely,
Professor Namewithheld

Here's some crap he shit out:

Sept. 11 does not rise to that [heightened] level of threat because, while it places lives and lifestyles at risk, it does not threaten the survival of the American republic....

What Patrick Henry once called "the lamp of experience" needs to be brought into the shadowy space in which we have all been living since Sept. 11. My tentative conclusion is that the light it sheds exposes the ghosts and goblins of our traumatized imaginations [yes, you read that right].... But it defies reason and experience to make Sept. 11 the defining influence on our foreign and domestic policy. History suggests that we have faced greater challenges and triumphed, and that overreaction is a greater danger than complacency.

Read it here. Email him at jellis@mtholyoke.edu.

Whachu Tahkin Bout, Hillary?

2006-01-22T10:59:00.000-08:00

Hillary comes clean on why she said Republicans are running Congress like a plantation...

I was talking to a predominantly black audience. Isn't it obvious--I was pandering. It it were a Jewish audience, I would've said the Republicans were running Congress like a concentration camp. A Hispanic audience? I would've said it was being run like a landscaping company. Gay audience? Like a figure skating coach.

A cappella Ad

2006-01-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

Just what *are* these people doing?

Look and Listen.

Is it length that doesn't matter? I forget.

2006-01-19T19:20:00.000-08:00

Hitler would be my bitch! Al Pacino, too.

Want to know who you're bigger than? Sure you do.

On the Bubble

2006-01-16T15:24:00.000-08:00

Soderbergh's latest...

An unlikely love triangle is born at a doll factory in a small Midwestern town. Long time employees Martha and Kyle have become friends by default in spite of their drastic age difference, but their dynamic is upset by the arrival of a new worker: young, attractive Rose. One morning, Rose is found dead, strangled in her own home. An investigation begins, one that will call into question our established assumptions about these characters and life in their small town.

Here's the trailer.

Beautiful v. Dutiful

2006-01-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Michael Barone's column today...

Our universities today have become our most intellectually corrupt institutions. University administrators must lie and deny that they use racial quotas and preferences in admissions, when they devote much of their energy to doing just that. They must pledge allegiance to diversity, when their campuses are among the least politically diverse parts of our society, with speech codes that penalize dissent and sometimes violent suppression of conservative opinion.

The Great War of 2007

2006-01-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

• Niall Ferguson is Laurence A. Tisch Professor of History at Harvard University

The devastating nuclear exchange of August 2007 represented not only the failure of diplomacy, it marked the end of the oil age. Some even said it marked the twilight of the West. Certainly, that was one way of interpreting the subsequent spread of the conflict as Iraq's Shi'ite population overran the remaining American bases in their country and the Chinese threatened to intervene on the side of Teheran.

Yet the historian is bound to ask whether or not the true significance of the 2007-2011 war was to vindicate the Bush administration's original principle of pre-emption. For, if that principle had been adhered to in 2006, Iran's nuclear bid might have been thwarted at minimal cost. And the Great Gulf War might never have happened.

"Go, Seahawks!" he said, pretending to care.

2006-01-16T07:15:00.000-08:00

No Colts? No Patriots? No Manning? No Brady? No interest.

Quote of the Day

2006-01-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

Elections have consequences...

RAHM EMANUEL, Democratic representative from Illinois, on halting a conservative movement on the Supreme Court: "George Bush won the election. If you don't like it, you better win elections."

Chinese French Kissing

2006-01-14T15:21:00.000-08:00

"What did I tell you, Wen-Li.... See what those gay cowboys started."

Suiting Up

2006-01-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

One of my National Guard students last fall said the exact same thing...

NYT Op-Ed

ANDREW EXUM
Beirut

THIS week Senator Hillary Clinton, citing a secret Pentagon report that suggested some marines killed in Iraq might have survived had they been wearing more body armor, became the latest in a long line of politicians to castigate the Pentagon for a supposed failure to adequately protect our fighting men and women. Well-intentioned as the senator might be, the body-armor issue, like so many in war, is just not that simple....
While I can testify that soldiers usually appreciate the protection body armor gives them, the load shouldered by the average infantryman often hinders his ability to fight - especially at high altitude as in Afghanistan.
But in Iraq, as well, the "soldier's load" is often unbearable. Most studies recommend that a soldier should not be burdened with more than one-third of his body weight. But if you take a 160-pound soldier and put 40 pounds of Kevlar and body armor on him and then he picks up an automatic weapon, ammunition, water and first aid equipment, it's not long before he is carrying half his body weight - and he is then expected to run, jump and fight insurgents, themselves carrying little more than a 10-pound AK-47. All of this, of course, often takes place in 120-degree heat in the cities of Iraq.

Lost among the politicians' cries for more extensive armor for the troops is the fact that most soldiers, in my experience and based on discussions with many, feel they have enough armor already - and many feel they are increasingly being burdened with too much equipment. And the new supplementary body armor unveiled this week in Washington doubles the weight of the equipment - worn over the torso and, now, the upper arms - to 32 pounds from 16 pounds (for a medium-sized soldier)....
An article last week from The Associated Press noted that "soldiers in the field were not all supportive of a Pentagon study that found improved body armor saves lives" and that some argued "that more armor would hinder combat effectiveness."

As an Army captain told The A.P.: "You've got to sacrifice some protection for mobility. If you cover your entire body in ceramic plates, you're just not going to be able to move."

Thankfully, many military leaders at both the tactical and strategic levels recognize they must strike a balance between protecting soldiers and preserving their mobility and fighting abilities. At some point, the public's desire to wrap ourtroops in a protective blanket of armor just gets ridiculous....
The voices that get overlooked are the most important ones: those of the soldiers themselves.
Much of this furor started a year ago when a soldier from my hometown, Chattanooga, Tenn. - apparently encouraged by an embedded reporter from the local newspaper (which, incidentally, was once owned by my family) - complained of digging through scrap heaps to jury-rig "hillbilly armor" for his unit's vehicles in a Kuwait question-and-answer session with Donald Rumsfeld.

Secretary Rumsfeld's callous answer - "You go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you might want or wish to have" - was roundly criticized as being out of touch with what the rest of America felt: that the men and women who serve our country in battle deserve nothing but the best equipment.

The problem with this noble sentiment is that the American public and its elected representatives don't always understand what military officers and soldiers do: that the safety of individual soldiers must always be balanced against the ability to accomplish the unit mission.

I worry that this timeless lesson is now being forgotten in the interest of minimizing American casualties. "Protecting soldiers," as an Army spokesman told me the other day, "is our No. 1 priority."

Excuse me, but shouldn't winning the war be our No. 1 priority?

Andrew Exum is the author of "This Man's Army."

Rate This

2006-01-13T12:15:00.000-08:00

I never look myself up on RateMyProfessors.com. (I'm lying, of course.) I'm waiting for the day when we profs get to follow you students around, then go to a Web site and anonymously critique you/judge you/slander you/make fun of some birth defect ~~I have~~ you have.

What? You say that day is here?

Until then, the Phantom Professor has this...

More from Bremer

2006-01-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

Bremer's piece in today's NYT...

There is little question that, thanks to efforts by the American-led coalition, enormous political and economic progress is being made in Iraq today.
Two years ago, Al Qaeda's leader in Iraq, Abu Musab Zarqawi, told his followers there that there would be no place for them in a democratic Iraq. One year later, Iraqis voted in the country's first genuine elections. Then they wrote and approved a new Constitution. And last month 70 percent of voters turned out to elect a new Parliament. Now that body should modify the Constitution to address legitimate concerns of the Sunnis.
As for Iraq's economy, at liberation it was flat on its back: the World Bank estimated that in 2003 the economy contracted by 41 percent. Now Iraq benefits from an independent central bank, and a new currency whose stability is a remarkable indicator of confidence. The economy is open to foreign investment and commercial laws have been modernized. The International Monetary Fund reports that per-capita income has doubled in the last two years and predicts that Iraq's economy will grow 17 percent this year. No wonder registration of new businesses has jumped 67 percent in the last six months.

Giving Charlie Props

2006-01-13T09:07:00.000-08:00

Despite all the conniptions Charlie Rose gives me, alas, o elitist viewer, where else on TV can we turn for interviews with artists, architects, airline execs, and former presidential envoys?

Bremer: Saddam's army was an army of about 500,000 soldiers, of which 300,000 were draftees--Shia draftees who served under an almost entirely Sunni officer core. And they [Shia] were brutalized, hazed, tortured.... When these 300,000 Shia enlisted men saw the way the war was going, they went home. They disserted. When liberation happened, there was not a single unit of the army standing in place anywhere. There was no army to "disband." I regret that we ever used the word "disband," because it leaves the impression there was something *to* disband. So there was never a question of disbanding the army.

So the question was raised, Should we recall the army? Now, as a practical matter, this meant sending our American young men and women in the armed forces to hunt for these Shia and forcing them at gunpoint back into an army they hated....

So what did we do about the army? We paid all of the Shia conscripts a termination fee and said, "Thank you for your service"--300,000 of them.

What did we do about the officers? We paid all of them, except the very top ones, a stipend, a monthly payment which continued all the way through the occupation. So, the people who say, "Well, you fired them and they didn't have a job and they didn't have any money..." that's nonsense. We paid them. We paid them an amount that was calculated to be slightly more than they would have gotten if they'd had a pension.

...

CR: Do you believe he [Ahmad Chalabi] took secrets to Iran?

PB: Well, it's possible.

CR: You think it is?

PB: It's possible. I mean, I saw--

CR: Do you believe it? I mean, you were there, at the center of it. *You* know.

PB: It...uh...I...you know...uh...it's something I don't think I really want to get into...in public.

CR: But if you're saying it's possible and don't really wanna get into it, the logical conclusion is that you believe he did.

PB: Well, you can draw your own conclusions.

You'll soon be able to download the entire program here.

What Academic Bias?

2006-01-13T07:31:00.000-08:00

One of the 22 Barbara Streisands we have in my department stopped by to show me her syllabus for this Spring. If you've gotten lucky enough to get her, here's what you can look forward to in her objective, unbiased Comp. I class:

Seems fair, right?

Bellicose NYT?

2006-01-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

A NYT editorial worth reading.

And in related news: Hell freezes over.

Fortunately, Iran is believed to still be several years away from being able to produce nuclear weapons. But it has now embarked on a course that can have no other plausible intent.

Turning its back on generous European and Russian offers that would have guaranteed its supplies of civilian reactor fuel, helped its economy, added jobs and lessened its diplomatic isolation, this week Tehran unsealed the centrifuges it can now use to enrich uranium to bomb-grade levels.

Charles on Charlie

2006-01-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

Watching Charlie Rose causes my palms to bleed from the number of times I dig my fingernails into them during each show. His constant interruptions, his ruffling of notes while his guest is talking, the 77 times each show he has to get in saying "in terms of," his laughing at things that aren't funny and for way longer than necessary, his incomplete sentences and questions, his verbal ellipses, his horrendous reading-aloud skills, ...hmm...why *do* I watch? Oh yeah, for stuff like this...

Fried: "Ted Kennedy said, as if it was something against Judge Alito, that Alito in his whole life had only had one client, the American government. Is that only one client? The American government is the American people. At Harvard we call that "public service" and we give people loan forgivenesses so they'll do it."

A 3-Hour Tour, A 3-Hour Tour

2006-01-11T10:28:00.000-08:00

The Professor will be there, obviously. And some Gingers and Mary Anns. So, just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

In the Port of New Orleans it's move-in day on the 1,076-passenger, Israeli-owned cruise ship, which Tulane University has leased this semester to house about 200 professors, students, and staff members. But anyone who has visions of sipping piña coladas on deck after a dip in a crystal-clear pool is in for a reality check.
The pool is drained, the bars are closed, and the slot machines will be draped with tarps. The spa, whose signs feature a woman receiving a blissful massage, is not operational, and the beauty salon has been cleared out. One lounge, the "My Fair Lady" room, may be used as an Internet cafe -- that is, once Tulane's technicians figure out how to translate the ship's technology documents from Hebrew. The theme of the ship's decor is classic musicals. But its overall motif comes across as faded 1980s glitz, with common areas heavy on brass and what feels suspiciously like pleather.
Staterooms are small, the bathrooms minuscule. One shower stall measures about 2 feet by 3 feet, and the twin berths are a mere arm's length from each other. No perishables are allowed in the cabins, none of which have TV's, and booze is banned.
But so far, the few dozen new residents of the ship, preparing for classes to begin next Tuesday, seem to be taking it all in stride. This is not about a luxury vacation, after all. This is New Orleans, where people are happy to have shelter and a university to go back to four-and-a-half months after Hurricane Katrina swept through the city.

Viewspaper

2006-01-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

Your assigned reading today: "Why Nobody Is Reading Today."

According to Jim A. Kuypers in Press Bias and Politics, 76 percent of journalists who admit to having a politics describe themselves as liberal. The consequences are predictable: even as they employ their politics to tilt their stories, such journalists sincerely believe they are (a) merely telling the truth and (b) doing good in the world.

Pre-university-educated journalists did not, I suspect, feel that the papers they worked for existed as vehicles through which to advance their own political ideas. Some among them might have hated corruption, or the standard lies told by politicians; from time to time they might even have felt a stab of idealism or sentimentality. But they subsisted chiefly on cynicism, heavy boozing, and an admiration for craft. They did not treat the news—and editors of that day would not have permitted them to treat the news—as a trampoline off which to bounce their own tendentious politics.

Puppy Purse

2006-01-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

A blushing and shy and way cute Ashley walked in a few minutes late to my 1:30 TR today curling her hair over and behind her left ear and carrying one of these. Gosh she was cute. Black cashmere turtleneck. Black riding boots. And the puppy purse. Cute. Did I say that yet?

This just in: I love my job.

I'm Ev'ry Woman

2006-01-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

No, that's not Goatse. That's Whitney.

Get Out of My Dreams, Get into My Kabura

2006-01-10T17:24:00.000-08:00

Hot. Sexy. Fast. Red on top and bottom. I'll take one.

Oh, and the car's nice too.

I See Goatse

2006-01-10T17:10:00.000-08:00

You know about Goatse, right. (If you don't, I'm not the one to break you in--I do not want to be the one you remember turning you on to it. Like Smack or something. Because it will literally divide your life: Pre-Goatse, Post-Goatse.)

Anyhoo, this dude's spreading it.

You'll Go Blind

2006-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

Guess mom was right.

Assignment #1

2006-01-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

Here's your first assignment for the Spring semester...

Until Then

Coming Out (Against Smoking)

2006-01-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

And I you, gay cowboys. And I you.

The Calls Are Coming from Inside the House!

2006-01-09T07:04:00.000-08:00

Just who *is* your girlfriend always talking to on that damned cell phone. Find out.

Related: Your Phone Records Are for Sale.

Rational Exuberance?

2006-01-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

Google Bubble? (Just try not to smile saying that fast a few times.)

Last week, a relatively obscure Wall Street analyst named Safa Rashtchy, from Piper Jaffray, became an overnight sensation among the Internet faithful. He predicted that Google's stock price, which has climbed more than 350 percent since its initial public offering in 2004, and was $422.52 at the time, would hit $600 a share by the end of 2006.

Shares of Google shot up to $435.23 the day of the report, and had risen to $465.66 by Friday.

Another analyst, Mark Stahlman, at Caris & Company, said Friday that Google shares could one day hit $2,000.

Earlier Googlizing.

Googlization

2006-01-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

See. Told you.

All the News That Fits

2006-01-07T19:38:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who never saw this...

If you're a regular reader of Turkish Press or Geo in Pakistan, you already know that on December 23,

Three Algerians arrested in an anti-terrorist operation in southern Italy are suspected of being linked to a planned new series of attacks in the United States, Interior Minister Giuseppe Pisanu said Friday.

The attacks would have targeted ships, stadiums or railway stations in a bid to outdo the September 11, 2001 strikes by Al-Qaeda in New York and Washington which killed some 2,700 people, Pisanu said.

But if you have been relying on the U.S. media to warn you about things like this, you haven't heard anything about it.

You would think that the arrest of terrorists planning to "outdo 9/11" would warrant some news coverage in the United States, but that's not what the editors at your Ministry of Truth decided. On that day in history, they thought the important news was that six Sudanese were abducted in Iraq, that Fidel Castro said that Bush is 'very much a fool,' that there was a vast US effort on eavesdropping (the NSA), and that the federal government was running a top secret program to monitor radiation levels at over a hundred Muslim sites in the Washington, D.C., area.

So the news that day was not that terrorists had been planning to blow up ships, stadiums or railway stations in the United States, but that things were going badly in Iraq, that President Bush was thought to be a fool, and that the government has been spying on people in the U.S.

Do you ever wonder whose side these people are on?

Choo-Choo 2

2006-01-07T15:03:00.000-08:00

A female colleague who threatened to pull my pants down and spank my naked bottom if I revealed her name--it's Cynthia, by the way--tells me that each engineer a company can recruit for its business creates 2 more jobs in that company and 5 more jobs in the local community.

We should staple a Green Card to the diploma of every foreign student who graduates with a degree in math or science.

Earlier: Choo-Choo!

Pinter Revisited

2006-01-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

Pinter pissed me off. Apparently pissed liberals off, too.

Mark Bowden, national correspondent, the Atlantic
The cultural event that most disappointed me in 2005 was the Nobel address given by Harold Pinter. On the occasion of receiving the world's most prestigious literary prize, the brilliant playwright chose to deliver a passionate anti-American speech. This was not just a criticism of the Bush administration, or of the invasion of Iraq (popular and legitimate targets), but a sweeping indictment of the United States of America as the taproot of evil in the world over the last 60 years. Lord knows, America deserves criticism (we are pretty good at criticizing ourselves), but when you consider the millions slaughtered by Pol Pot in Cambodia, the widespread and ruthless repression of the late Soviet Union, the fact that one-fourth of the world's population still lives under the thumb of a repressive Chinese Communist regime, that Islamofascists are plotting acts of mass murder (including an attack that killed 52 and injured more than 700 in London last year) as the vanguard of an effort to sweep away from a large portion of the planet the cherished freedoms and tolerance of Western society, Pinter's reading of history old and new was juvenile, bizarre, and willfully narrow. At one point he compared the (appalling) persistence of the death penalty in America to the murderous practices of Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. Pinter is, of course, entitled to his opinion, and thanks in no small measure to the sacrifices of Americans, he is free to express it. But we are free to be disappointed in him. I was.

Economy Anemic. Who Knew?

2006-01-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

I told girlfriend-not-Jen that because Bush hoorayed the economy yesterday the NYT would boo it today. They of course didn't let me down (maybe they just stuck in the word "anemic" not really knowing what it word meant). If only their stock was as predictable.

Jack's got the full truth...

The great American economy is getting tougher to ignore. Pessimists are having a harder time finding things to complain about. The declining economy the President inherited was a good target for a while, but the economy has grown an average of 4.1% since the Bush tax cuts and policies began to take effect in 2003. Not to worry, jobs lag economic growth. Complain about that. But this year the economy produced 2 million jobs and brought the unemployment rate down to 4.9%. Okay, we are spending ourselves into debt. Well … no. As any accountant knows debt alone tells you nothing. Net worth - assets minus liabilities - is the key measure. Household net worth is at an all time high, 27% higher than during the high point of the Clinton boom and twice as high as in 1995.
What about the basis of our prosperity? What about productivity? For the last five years productivity has been growing at 3.5% a year. American workers are now 17% more productive than they were in 2001.

Here's the Economic Fact Sheet, IYI.

Flight 93

2006-01-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

We are going to take back the cockpit.

I pray to God Hollywood does not screw this up.

Watch the trailer.

Anything for an Ashley

2006-01-06T12:45:00.000-08:00

A way hott "Ashley" in the Fall burned me a copy of the Fall Out Boy CD, saying they were the best band in the history of time. Of course. (Maybe she'd never heard of a little band I like to call O-Town?)

I'm not a fan, but their song titles are pure genius: "Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song so We Wouldn't Get Sued," "I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth," "Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends," "I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me," "A Little Less 'Sixteen Candles', a Little More 'Touch Me.'"

There's your plug, Ash.

Presbyterian Pamela

2006-01-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

Speaking of Presbyterians...that's right, rumor has it CJ's one.

According to a Malibu friend and Pepperdine professor, the former Baywatch star and girl who kept me "combing my hair" in bathroom for hours teaches a Sunday school class at Malibu Presbyterian.

See. Told you Presbyterians were cool.

P.S. Malibu friend also reports that Pamela jogs four days a week on their campus. Classes do not meet those days.

Coursecasting

2006-01-06T11:21:00.000-08:00

Last Fall I considered podcasting my lectures but thought better of it since I usually use class time to sober up, and since I usually pepper my remarks with shitloads of profanities, you know, to keep interest up, and since I don't relish saying things like, "But, Your Honor,..."

But, hey, knock yourself out, UC...

Something strange is strapped to Nancy Jennings' arm.
Standing at the front of a classroom, Jennings is reviewing the syllabus of her Introduction to Mass Communication course, which started Tuesday at the University of Cincinnati. She gives the students her e-mail and phone contacts and tells them they need to score 462 points to get an A in her class. And then she says this: "I am strapped in. We are recording. This is very new. This is experimental. This is the first time it's been done on UC's campus."

"I Can See Daniel Waving Goodbye"

2006-01-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

With apologies to Elton John...

It's been a while since we at my local Presbyterian church picked up snakes and drank poison and prophesied for the Baby Jesus and whatnot. And in about three spins of that way cool wheel page mover thingy on your mouse (not its technical term), you'll see Professor Namewithheld is no prude (doesn't it just make you dig your fingernails into your palms when people refer to themselves in the third person, especially people who don't even have the courage to reveal their true identities in the first place). But I'm coming out of the closet. I'm coming out of the closet of...of...pipeddownedness (not a word) and into the living room or general dining area anyway of quitpokingfunatmylordandsavioredness. To wit...

{It's the raucous, not the meek, who are inheriting the earth in NBC's prime-time provocation, "The Book of Daniel," which has its premiere tonight. And the flock of the Rev. Daniel Webster (Aidan Quinn), an Episcopal minister in Westchester County, N.Y., seems to be following his outrageously wayward lead. Their errant behavior has a few NBC affiliates in the heartland debating the supposed disrespect in depicting churchgoers who indulge in worldly delights.}

And...

{Two television stations are refusing to broadcast a new NBC series about an Episcopal priest who abuses painkillers, has a gay son, a promiscuous straight son, a daughter who deals marijuana, and a wife who drinks too much.

Conservative Christian groups have condemned the depiction of Jesus as blasphemous, accusing the writers of portraying Christ as tolerant of sin in talks with the priest.

The show's creator and executive producer, Jack Kenny, said he drew on the emotionally guarded family of his male partner for the series. He said his goal was to depict how "humor and grace" help a flawed man struggle with his faith and family. He said the writers never meant to mock religion or Jesus.

However, Bob Waliszewski, of Focus on the Family's teen ministries, said the show portrayed Christ as a "namby-pamby frat boy who basically winks at every sin and perversity under the sun."

"When the pastor's teen son is sexually active and having many romps with his 15-year-old girlfriend, this Jesus says, `A kid has to be a kid,'" Waliszewski said. "I don't think NBC would have portrayed a Muslim cleric or a Buddhist monk, the Dalai Lama, in a show this way. Why? Because they know to do so would be mean-spirited and insensitive."

"Boy, you never know, do you?" Jesus mutters from the sidelines, when one character reveals a lesbian relationship.}

Okay, that last bit's pretty funny. But still...

Waiting for Godoogle

2006-01-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

This just in: God resigns. Google takes over.

Earlier: Googlization.

Blame Bush, Not Byrd

2006-01-06T09:45:00.000-08:00

I lost a bad bet to a running buddy yesterday.

He wondered how long it would take the NYT to blame Bush for the Sago 12 coal mining catastrophe. I said Sunday. He said sooner.

Today this cost me $20 bucks and my dignity, as part 2 of the bet requires me to sing "I Like My Women Just a Little on the Trashy Side" to my girlfriend-not-Jen Saturday night at Karaoke Kenny's.

{In accounting for the deaths, inspectors should look as well into the budget cutbacks and staff attrition that have marked the Bush administration's management of its own ranks in the Mine Safety and Health Administration.}

Sago's senator, "Byrd" or something, a Democrat, gets a pass, of course.

$114 Million for Cunning Linguists

2006-01-06T08:13:00.000-08:00

If engineering ain't your bag, baby, you might consider this, from today's Chronicle...

{Speaking before a crowd of 120 college presidents here, President Bush announced on Thursday that he would ask Congress for $114-million to teach languages critical for national security to students from kindergarten through college.

The president's request, which will be made formally in his budget proposal for the 2007 fiscal year, includes $14-million to create a new National Language Services Corps of teachers and translators for the armed forces. Under the president's plan, students who receive scholarships through the existing National Security Education Program would have the option of serving in a new Civilian Linguist Reserve Corps or a Language Teacher Corps after graduation instead of with the federal government.

The goal of the proposed program is to produce 1,000 new teachers of Arabic, Chinese, Farsi, Hindi, Russian, and other "critical" languages, and 1,000 reserve linguists in those languages by the end of the decade. Only 15 public schools now teach Arabic, and only 2,000 people teach Chinese in American schools, according to State Department officials.

In addition, the proposal would:

Increase spending on the National Flagship Language Initiative, an existing program, to $13.2-million, from $6-million, to produce 2,000 advanced speakers of Arabic, Chinese, Hindi, Persian, Russian, and Central Asian languages by 2009. The program provides fellowships to students and money to colleges to establish centers for the study of critical languages.
Create new summer immersion programs in critical languages for up to 275 college students a year.
Provide up to 200 additional Gilman Scholarships, which the State Department gives to low-income students, by 2008. This year, 536 low-income undergraduates will receive $5,000 Gilman Scholarships to study abroad for at least four weeks.
Add overseas language study to 150 Fulbright scholarships for Americans each year.
Expand the Fulbright Foreign Language Teaching Assistant Program to allow 300 native speakers of critical languages, up from 200, to come to the United States to teach in universities and schools next year.
Increase federal support for immersion language-study centers abroad.

The president's speech marked the start of a two-day "Summit on International Education" at the State Department. Scheduled to speak today are Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings and Karen Hughes, the State Department's undersecretary for public diplomacy and foreign affairs. The college leaders will also meet in small groups to discuss issues like global competitiveness, nongovernmental partnerships, and export controls.

In his remarks, President Bush put his plan in the context of the campaign against terror, saying that foreign-language expertise is critical to national security and foreign diplomacy. "We've got to convince people of the benefits of a free society," he said, "and you can't convince people unless you can talk to them."}

Choo-Choo!

2006-01-05T13:26:00.000-08:00

Today the National Academy of Engineering announced that seven engineers will receive $1 million in prizes for their achievements in the field. I tell you this to encourgage you, dear college student, to consider an Engineering degree.

In 1990 the U.S. graduated 60,000 engineers compared to China's 15,000. In 2005 the U.S. graduated 53,000 engineers compared to China's...wait for it...300,000.

When I read that, both my eyeballs went out of their sockets like you sometimes see in one of those Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

Please, oh dear god, please, college student, consider an Engineering degree.

Racism

2006-01-05T13:18:00.000-08:00

From today's Chronicle...

{More students are declining to reveal their racial or ethnic identity on their college applications, but, as it turns out, many of those students are white, according to a report released on Wednesday. The number of students whose racial or ethnic classification was reported by their colleges as "unknown" nearly doubled from 1991 to 2001.

The study's main conclusion is that colleges need to collect more-precise data on the racial and ethnic backgrounds of their students. Otherwise, some students stand to gain an unfair advantage by being considered minority students in the admissions process.}

Sentences like that last one make me want to set my hair on fire.

Chaise-ing Tennis Balls

2006-01-05T12:07:00.000-08:00

Dublin is apparently hott. Who knew?

Actually, one of my "Ashleys" in the Fall knew. She was Irish and hott, too. But didn't know it. The hott part. Which made her even hottter.

She also told me a pickup line a "Mitch" used on her: "You must be Irish. 'Cause my penis is dublin'."

You don't know how bad I wish I'd've come up with that.

Props

2006-01-05T11:03:00.000-08:00

Still recouping from my school's bowl game, I wasn't thrilled with last night's national championship game (the first half of our game was way more exciting). Plus, today I got a hangover you could sell to science.

And I still think USC is the better team and would win, like, 8 times out of 10. But you gotta show Texas some love.

Just like we heart our mommas and sweet iced tea, we heart us some college football down here in the South.

Second Termitis

2006-01-05T10:49:00.000-08:00

Today's NYT has an interesting op-ed...

{A second-term president will, in effect, automatically be fired within four years. Inevitably his influence over Congress, and even his authority over the sprawling executive branch, weaken. His party leadership frays as presidential hopefuls carve out their own constituencies for the next election.}

Sucking Times

2006-01-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

Gawker's got this...

{It must suck when your company announces several hundred layoffs over the last few months. It must suck when your company cancels its discount-stock-purchase program. It must suck when your expense accounts are tightened, when hiring freezes are instated, and when you learn you'll be getting a smaller bonus than you'd hoped. And it must really suck the most when these things have happened and then you wake up one morning, as New York Times employees did today, to learn from the Observer that your company nevertheless handed out a few million bucks' worth of stock to a half-dozen or so top corporate managers.

The gifts, according to a SEC filing:

• Janet Robinson, CEO: 74,000 free shares of stock, worth about $2 million, plus $4 million in options.
• Arthur Sulzberger Jr., chairman and publisher: 30,000 free shares of stock, worth about $800,000, plus $4.1 million in options
• Michael Golden, vice-chairman, IHT publisher, and Sulzberger cousin: 12,000 shares, about $300,000.
• Leonard Forman, CFO: 12,000 shares, about $300,000.
• Scott Heekin Canedy, President: 12,000 shares, about $300,000.
• Martin Nisenholtz, SVP and digital-operations chief: 8,000 free shares, about $200,000.
• Catherine Mathis, VP and chief flack: 1,750 free shares, about $50,000.}

Harrumph!

2006-01-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

The Chenster will say this today:

{Another vital step the President took in the days following 9/11 was to authorize the National Security Agency to intercept a certain category of terrorist-linked international communications. There are no communications more important to the safety of the United States than those related to al-Qaeda that have one end in the United States. If we'd been able to do this before 9/11, we might have been able to pick up on two of the hijackers who flew a jet into the Pentagon.}

Another Blogger Bites the Dust

2006-01-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

The university is not really just a place where people get together to complain about parking. The university is a place for a free exchange of ideas, right? Somebody forgot to tell DeVry University...

{A professor at Devry University in Westminster, Colorado, has been fired, she says, for some "water-cooler kvetching" about the institution on her blog.

Meg Spohn, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Denver, served as department chair of communications and composition at the Westminster campus until mid-December. On her Web site, Ms. Spohn had critiqued the university's online training seminars and hiring practices -- complaints, she argues, that were fairly antiseptic.

But campus officials evidently saw something a bit more sinister in her online musings. And Ms. Spohn may have a difficult time if she chooses to fight the firing: Colorado is an "at-will" state where companies are allowed to dismiss employees for any reasons not prohibited by federal law.}

Wikiversity

2006-01-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

The "Wikiversity.com" domain name is available. Buy it. 'Cause it is coming.

See You in Class

2006-01-04T06:31:00.000-08:00

Spotted in the Texas Tech University Daily Toreador:

OB/GYN DEPARTMENT is seeking models to assist in teaching gynecological exam skills to medical students. For details call Paula at [number deleted].

Correction: 400 Is the New 30

2006-01-03T15:14:00.000-08:00

We were just saying this. Now 60 Minutes has this.

{How’s this for an offer you can’t refuse: how would you like to live say, 400 or 500 years, or even more and all of them in perfect health? It’s both a Utopian and a nightmare scenario but there are those who say it is well within the realm of possibility.

Though we live longer and healthier lives than our grandparents, 100 is more or less the outer limit because, catastrophic disease aside, we just plain wear out. But 60 Minutes correspondent Morley Safer talked to one scientist who says that’s old-fashioned thinking, that sometime in the next 20 to 30 years or so we’ll be able to recondition ourselves for the first steps towards immortality.}

My Google Laptop

2006-01-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

The Googlization of everything continues...

{Sources say Google has been in negotiations with Wal-Mart Stores Inc., among other retailers, to sell a Google PC. The machine would run an operating system created by Google, not Microsoft's Windows, which is one reason it would be so cheap — perhaps as little as a couple of hundred dollars.}

Bigfoot Hoax?

2006-01-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

After Zapruder, Bigfoot's gotta get his due, am I right?

Will That Be on the Test, Too?

2006-01-03T07:50:00.000-08:00

We recently discussed this.

Here are a few papers and panels presented at recent MLA conferences:

"Jane Austen and the Masturbating Girl"

"'She Must Be Raggin'!': Children's Literature and Menstruation"

"Taking Away the Threat: Cribs and The Osbournes as Narratives of Domestication"

"Judith Butler Got Me Tenure (but I Owe My Job to k.d. lang): High Theory, Pop Culture, and Some Thoughts About the Role of Literature in Contemporary Queer Studies"

"Jethro, Mama, Sassie Sue, and the Midnight Plowboy: Hillbillies, 'Common Sense,' Urbanity, and Blaxploitation Film"

"'Dude, Where's My Reliable Symbolic Order?': Gross-Out Comedies and the Rewriting of the Expressible"

"Apertures and Orifices in Chaucer"

"'The Entree Was Long and Streit, and Gastly for to See': Visual and Verbal Penetration in the Knight's Tale"

I Want My OC TV

2006-01-03T07:37:00.000-08:00

Today's Chronicle has yet another doom and gloom story about the OC generation...

{A snippet of conversation that occurred during a National Public Radio interview with me last year illustrates the attitude that I'm describing:

Caller: "I'm a high-school student, and I don't read and my friends don't read because of all the boring stuff the teachers assign."

Host: "Such as?"

Caller: "Uh ... that book about the guy. You know, that guy who was great."

Host: "Huh?"

Caller: "The great guy."

Host: "The Great Gatsby?"

Caller: "Yeah. Who wants to read about him?"}

Syriana Script

2006-01-02T16:43:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I mentioned Syriana, but Warner Brothers has put the entire screenplay online.

Zapruder Hoax?

2006-01-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

Hard to watch, real or not.

Big Imam on Campus

2006-01-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

It is things like this that *do* keep me reading the NYT.

{Prince Talal: The gift is unrestricted!

NYT: No, it's not. It has to be spent on Islamic studies. Georgetown is renaming a center after you, and Harvard is naming a program after you.}

LOVE That Caption

2006-01-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

I couldn't agree more.

Previously, this and this.

127 Is the New 30

2006-01-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

Ray Kurzweil on BookTV tells us all to hang on.

Coldplay No Play?

2006-01-02T10:49:00.000-08:00

Here's the insert you can read after you buy Coldplay's latest CD. Make trade fair, indeed!

boingboing has more...

Coldplay's new CD has rules: No MP3s, no DVD players, no car stereos

Michelle, My Belle

2006-01-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

Michelle's got this...

{Did you see who Black Entertainment Television viewers named 2005's Person of the Year}

And this...

{QUEEN KATHLEEN BLANCO: Shortly after the two hurricanes, Gov. Kathleen Blanco decided to renovate some of her staff's offices. At the time of her decision, Blanco also was hinting at deep budget cuts to state programs and the possibility of laying off 20 percent of the state workforce.

The project cost $564,838.}

Why Dems Just Don't Get It

2006-01-02T08:05:00.000-08:00

Op-ed in today's NYT.... When Nancy Pelosi is lecturing about religion, I have to assume a member of Anton LaVey's family wasn't available.

{NANCY PELOSI, the Democratic leader in the House, sounded like an Old Testament prophet recently when she denounced the Republican budget for its "injustice and immorality" and urged her colleagues to cast their no votes "as an act of worship" during this religious season.

This, apparently, is what the Democrats had in mind when they vowed after President Bush's re-election to reclaim religious voters for their party. In the House, they set up a Democratic Faith Working Group. Senator Harry Reid, the minority leader, created a Web site called Word to the Faithful. And Democratic officials began holding conferences with religious progressives. All of this was with the intention of learning how to link faith with public policy. An event for liberal politicians and advocates at the University of California at Berkeley in July even offered a seminar titled "I Don't Believe in God, but I Know America Needs a Spiritual Left."}

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2005-12-31T23:56:00.000-08:00

Just what the hell is a lang syne anyway?

Resolutions? At 2 a.m.? Hmm...as a result of this, I resolve to do a kindness for someone every day (or at least more days than not) this year.

Warmest wishes for your best year yet!

Say What?

2005-12-31T09:07:00.000-08:00

MRC is running its Notable Quotables of 2005...

"An Advocate for the Right."
— Headline over a New York Times "news analysis" of Judge John Roberts’ judicial philosophy, July 28.

vs.

"Balanced Jurist at Home in the Middle."
— Headline over a June 27, 1993 New York Times story on Supreme Court nominee Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Chronic (What) cles

2005-12-31T08:13:00.000-08:00

Since the "Lazy Sunday" video is EVERYWHERE, I was gonna let it go. But I love this graphic (featuring the very underrated Chris Parnell) so much, get your Chronic on.

Court Jesters

2005-12-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

More reasons to like my boo Scalia...

{Justice Antonin Scalia's wit is widely admired, and now it has been quantified. He is, a new study concludes, 19 times as funny as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.}

Punk'd 2

2005-12-30T19:15:00.000-08:00

Though not as good as this, this is still nice and ballsy...

{The best colleges strive to out-prank one another. Students at Yale scored a big victory during last year's football match against Harvard when they passed out pieces of paper to thousands of fans on the Harvard side of the stadium. The fans were told that, when held up, the bits would spell “Go Harvard”. In fact they spelled something else.}

Brokeback Throwback

2005-12-30T15:21:00.000-08:00

Gay cowboys, old-school.

I stand behind what I've said. Dammit.

You'll not hear me utter the love-whose-name-must-not-be-mumbled. You'll not see me takin' that dirt road to Corn Holler. My magic johnson won't get caught in anyone's chocolate socket. You can bet my babymaker won't--oh, are you still reading?

Don't have a Happy New Year!

2005-12-30T07:28:00.000-08:00

Again, I've often told girlfriend-not-Jen that you don't "pursue" happiness. Happiness is a byproduct--it is what happens while you're doing other things. The NYT says so, too...

{"Those only are happy," he [John Stuart Mill] came to believe, "who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way." For our own culture, steeped as it is in the relentless pursuit of personal pleasure and endless cheer, that message is worth heeding.

So in these last days of 2005 I say to you, "Don't have a happy new year!" Have dinner with your family or walk in the park with friends. If you're so inclined, put in some good hours at the office or at your favorite charity, temple or church. Work on your jump shot or your child's model trains. With luck, you'll find happiness by the by. If not, your time won't be wasted. You may even bring a little joy to the world.}

Speaking of Movies...

2005-12-30T06:22:00.000-08:00

VCRs killed movie-going. The cocksuckers sitting around me make no distinction between being in a theater and being in their home-that-is-parkable, on their bedsofa, huffing paint, eating Cheese Whiz, digging, arguing with their third wife and five illegitimate kids, ... not to put too fine a point on it. I should get to kick these people in the nuts.

But, worse than them, I should get to wish nut cancer (not its technical term) upon the people who sell, buy, and run those commercials that play before previews begin.

So to the Didn't I Already Pay for This Movie people, I give not kicks or cancer, but kisses and hugs and something perhaps they'd like crocheted and standing ovations and kidneys if needed.

Enough Already

2005-12-30T06:10:00.000-08:00

I heart this graphic.

I need a 'roid cushion for movies these days. I may start taking a sleeping bag and thermos.

I had my next birthday during "LOTR3."

I think they had a presidential election in the time I was in that last "Harry Potter."

They'd have to start "King Kong" 5 minutes before takeoff to fit it in on a flight from La Guardia to Miami.

Is the goal to make movies as long as/longer than the actual length of the event they are depicting? The Titanic sinking took 2:40. Its movie? 3:14. If I'm gonna watch something 3:14, it better be about those places where girls are going wild at.

Seriously, if Jerry Seinfeld stopped at 30 minutes, what makes "Memoirs of a Geisha" worth 2:24?

OBL as Source

2005-12-30T05:22:00.000-08:00

I've been telling my girlfriend-until-I-get-Jen this for months...

{AMERICA'S MOST WANTED Why is Osama bin Laden still at large more than four years after 9/11? The new C.I.A. director, Porter J. Goss, provided a big hint. He said that the United States had a good idea of where Mr. bin Laden was hiding, but that sovereign states would not let a proper manhunt be mounted. Mr. Goss's statement seemed to confirm the widespread suspicion that Mr. bin Laden was hiding in the mountains of northern Pakistan but that President Pervez Musharraf, fearing the reaction of Islamic militants, was not eager for him to be captured. Mr. Musharraf himself lent support to that theory, telling an interviewer: "One would prefer that he's captured somewhere outside Pakistan. By some other people."}

An additional reason there have been no more attacks/we have prevented attacks on U.S. soil since 9/11, no? Surveilling OBL is wiser than capturing/killing him, no? Alive he is our best info source, no? Otherwise we tip our hand, no? Yes?

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Paris Hilton

2005-12-29T19:41:00.000-08:00

What. I think we've all been there. Well...not *there*. I mean we've all done that. Well...not *done* that. Oh, you know what I mean.

And I promise this is not payback for my Christmas card.

Litte Red Hoax

2005-12-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

I had this.

Now boing boing gots this...

{ The head of policy studies at the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth wants the university to suspend a student who made up a story about being grilled by federal antiterrorism agents over a library book and to reprimand faculty members who spread the tale.

Following the student's admission Friday that it was a hoax, Clyde Barrow, chairman of the policy studies department, said UMass should punish the student and faculty members, in particular two history professors who repeated the unsubstantiated assertion of the history student to a New Bedford Standard-Times reporter.

(...) ''It's unbelievable that this student is not being suspended for a semester," wrote Barrow, who said he does not know the student's identity. ''It's even more unbelievable that the faculty who jumped the gun on this story and actively promoted it on campus, the Internet, and blogs will walk away from their misconduct without any consequences."}

Remind Me Why We Fund These Bastards

2005-12-29T18:57:00.000-08:00

Power Line's got this...

{According to a new poll (see table 2.22(2)), 65 percent of Palestinians support al Qaeda terror attacks on the United States and European countries. Well-to-do Palestinians supported such attacks to nearly the same extent. The poll was conducted by FAFO - a Norwegian-based NGO not known for sympathy toward Israel or antipathy toward the PA. In fact, FAFO's press release does not mention this particular result (the poll is comprehensive and nearly all of the results are fascinating).

Palestinian Media Watch (PMW) Director Itamar Marcus had this to say:

What is striking is the willingness of Palestinians to turn against even the Western countries upon whom they are so totally dependent in order to progress. The poll underscores what PMW has been documenting for years - the profoundly negative impact hate education has had on PA society. . .Palestinians are not in direct conflict with the US, and certainly have counted on the Europeans as active allies. And yet an overwhelming majority desire to see Europeans and Americans killed by a religion-based terror organization.}

Tru, Dat

2005-12-29T16:54:00.000-08:00

College *is* an investment.

The Fools have this...

{College campuses offer the public such cultural mainstays as gridiron classics in the fall and March Madness in the spring. But beyond sports entertainment, they also foster academic achievements and scientific advancements. Even more, university centers can teach investors where to put their money. Fool contributor Jeremy MacNealy names Abercrombie & Fitch, Apple Computer, and Starbucks as his top three investment opportunities found on college campuses.}

Punk'd

2005-12-29T16:40:00.000-08:00

boing boing has this...

{Google Video has a homemade video up done by a bunch of guys who played a practical joke on their friend. They basically TiVo'd the Texas lottery show and then bought a lottery ticket for their friend the next day and played it back like it was live. The guy goes nuts thinking that he just won the Texas lottery and screams and yells and jumps up and down and hugs everyone.}

A Quickie

2005-12-29T07:19:00.000-08:00

Faculty shit today. But Slate's got this...

{Das Gloat:

When I or virtually any other mainstream journalist writes something, it goes through several filters before the reader sees it. At least four experienced Times editors will have examined this column, for example. They will have checked it for accuracy, fairness, grammar, taste and libel, among other things. -- The late David Shaw, Pulitzer-winning L.A. Times media critic, 3/27/2005

You had to wonder where were those fabled four layers of experienced editors these past few days when a) the paper ran an April Fool's press release in a front-page story as if it were actual news and b) publisher Jeff Johnson's Sunday opinion section ran a piece charging that "the Rev. Jerry Falwell claimed that Ellen DeGeneres played a role in the 9/11 terrorist attacks and Hurricane Katrina because she was the host of the Emmy Awards ceremony preceding both events," something the paper now admits Falwell didn't say.}

Is There a Chiropractor in the House?

2005-12-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

$50 to whoever can watch all 2:56 of this.

The Outrage is Outrageous

2005-12-27T07:32:00.000-08:00

Rivkin and Casey have an interesting op-ed in today's NYT.

{The Constitution's framers did not vest absolute power in any branch of the federal government, including the courts, but they did create a strong executive and equipped the office with sufficient authority to act energetically to defend the national interest in wartime. That is what President Bush has done, and nothing more.}

"We Have to Exterminate White People"

2005-12-26T10:00:00.000-08:00

Michelle's got the crackpots of the year.

Professor Kamau Kambon (left) is one, for sure. He says white people have to be exterminated. I say I hope Santa shits in his stocking.

Here's the video.

Harrumph!

2005-12-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

I like this from Irish Pennants:

{Those who have demanded severe punishment for whoever it was who told reporters that Valerie Plame worked at the CIA have been remarkably forgiving about who leaked the existence of the NSA intercept program, which - like the earlier leak of secret CIA prisons for al-Qaeda bigwigs and unlike the Plame kerfuffle - has done serious harm to our national security.

But fortunately, by clapping New York Times reporter Judith Miller in irons until she talked, overzealous special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has set a valuable precedent.

Attorney General Gonzales should subpoena Mr. Risen and Mr. Lichtblau, and have them cited for contempt of court if they do not disclose their source or sources. Maybe they could share Judy Miller's old cell.}

Merry [insert here whatever you're celebrating]!

2005-12-25T08:38:00.000-08:00

Instapundit's got this all-inclusive carol.

Brown v. Board

2005-12-25T07:53:00.000-08:00

Go 'head, girl, go 'head, get down.

{While attending a Pennsylvania Republican Party picnic, Jennie Mae Brown bumped into her state representative and started venting.

"How could this happen?" Ms. Brown asked Representative Gibson C. Armstrong two summers ago, complaining about a physics professor at the York campus of Pennsylvania State University who she said routinely used class time to belittle President Bush and the war in Iraq. As an Air Force veteran, Ms. Brown said she felt the teacher's comments were inappropriate for the classroom.

The encounter has blossomed into an official legislative inquiry, putting Pennsylvania in the middle of a national debate spurred by conservatives over whether public universities are promoting largely liberal positions and discriminating against students who disagree with them.}

Revelation 21:8

2005-12-24T12:26:00.000-08:00

Instapundit has this follow-up involving this genius.

{ANOTHER HOMELAND SECURITY HOAX:

It rocketed across the Internet a week ago, a startling newspaper report that agents from the US Department of Homeland Security had visited a student at the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth at his New Bedford home simply because he had tried to borrow Mao Tse-Tung's ''Little Red Book" for a history seminar on totalitarian goverments. . . .

But yesterday, the student confessed that he had made it up after being confronted by the professor who had repeated the story to a Standard-Times reporter.

The professor, Brian Glyn Williams, said he went to his former student's house and asked about inconsistencies in his story. The 22-year-old student admitted it was a hoax, Williams said.

''I made it up," the professor recalled him saying. ''I'm sorry. . . . I'm so relieved that it's over."

The student was not identified in any reports. The Globe interviewed him Thursday but decided not to write a story about his assertion, because of doubts about its veracity. The student could not be reached yesterday.

Williams said the student gave no explanation. But Williams, who praised the student as hard-working and likeable, said he was shaken by the deception.

''I feel as if I was lied to, and I have no idea why," said Williams, an associate professor of Islamic history. He said the possibility the government was scrutinizing books borrowed by his students ''disturbed me tremendously."

I'm disturbed tremendously that such a suspicious story was accepted so uncritically by alleged critical thinkers -- and I'm a bit surprised that the student's identity is still being protected. Why shouldn't we know who's behind this?}

I Got Harrumphed!

2005-12-24T11:40:00.000-08:00

Others agree, O'Donnell.

No Afternoon Delight, This

2005-12-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

You wouldn't see this at a Starland Vocal Band party. I'm just sayin'.

{Dec. 22, 2005 (UPI delivered by Newstex) -- Three men were stabbed and three were shot during the New York release party for slain rapper Notorious B.I.G.'s CD, "Duets: The Final Chapter."}

The Rich are Different...

2005-12-24T04:46:00.000-08:00

They have more money. But...

{The middle class is disappearing by getting richer. Only 9% of American families had an inflation adjusted income of more than $75,000.00 back in 1967. Today 27% do. The average American family’s net worth (assets minus liabilities) is more than $100,000.00, according too Census Bureau figures. The median American household income is over $54,000.00. We have come a long way.}

Alas, a rising tide doesn't lift all these boats.

Tastes Like Chicken?

2005-12-23T15:17:00.000-08:00

I'm torn between the "Nutrious Beef Penis in Pot" and the "Nutrious Young Pigeon Casserole."

Those Chinese. Gotta love their ~~Engrish~~ English.

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Paris Hilton

2005-12-23T14:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sure my card is on its way. Things are slower here in the South. Plus, my local post office just might be dusting this card for STDs.

Will That Be on the Test?

2005-12-23T09:07:00.000-08:00

Here, dear taxpayer, parent, et al, is where your money goes...

{The Dirty Dozen

America’s Most Bizarre and Politically Correct College Courses

Princeton University’s Prostitute, Cross Dressing, and Same-Sex Eroticism Course ranked the most bizarre Class

HERNDON, VA – As tuition rates climb to an average of over $21,000 per year, today’s college students study prostitution, teeth whitening, and Beavis and Butthead. The following Dirty Dozen highlights the most bizarre and troubling instances of leftist activism supplanting traditional scholarship in our nation’s colleges and universities.}

NYT Update

2005-12-23T08:22:00.000-08:00

Apparently I'm not the only one...

Liberals, too!

After

2005-12-23T08:17:00.000-08:00

Before

2005-12-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

Public Apology

2005-12-23T06:37:00.000-08:00

I'd nearly get a contact high every time I graded one of "Mitch's" essays. While they were no "Planes, Trains, and Plantains: The Story of Oedipus," just fingering the pages got me light headed. I swear puffs of smoke would rise every time I turned a page. Some pages would have a piece torn off--doubtless he needed to roll a fattie and this was the handiest paper. If he were to pee in something, I'm sure stems would come out.

Mitch would occasionally stop by my office, the smell of marijuana pouring off his shirt, coat, hair, bookbag, the roach clip he wore around his neck. After he'd leave I'd get suspicious looks from the next person who stopped by.

One particularly strong aroma-ed day, I said, "Duuude..."

He replied something about the smell being the scent of a candle his roommate burned.

"Riiiiight," I must have said.

But now there's this. So Mitch, my bad.

Times Timing

2005-12-22T10:27:00.000-08:00

Maybe the NYT didn't mention this because of this.