Saturday, January 28, 2006

College Professor Cures Constipation

Here's an email I just sent to Joseph Ellis in response to his piece in today's NYT.
Dr. Ellis:

I'm trying to decide which activity I'm gonna enjoy more: one, crucifying in my history classes next week your op-ed in today's Times; two, tearing the op-ed out and shitting on it (I've already pissed on it); three, setting fire to your books I own.

Sincerely,
Professor Namewithheld
Here's some crap he shit out:
Sept. 11 does not rise to that [heightened] level of threat because, while it places lives and lifestyles at risk, it does not threaten the survival of the American republic....

What Patrick Henry once called "the lamp of experience" needs to be brought into the shadowy space in which we have all been living since Sept. 11. My tentative conclusion is that the light it sheds exposes the ghosts and goblins of our traumatized imaginations [yes, you read that right].... But it defies reason and experience to make Sept. 11 the defining influence on our foreign and domestic policy. History suggests that we have faced greater challenges and triumphed, and that overreaction is a greater danger than complacency.
Read it here. Email him at jellis@mtholyoke.edu.

1 Comments:

Blogger Meg said...

I join you in solid-shit-arity. What a load. Maybe later you and I can eat a bunch of bran and have at the collected works of Thomas Friedman.

10:59 AM  

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