Saturday, December 31, 2005

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


Just what the hell is a lang syne anyway?

Resolutions? At 2 a.m.? Hmm...as a result of this, I resolve to do a kindness for someone every day (or at least more days than not) this year.

Warmest wishes for your best year yet!

Say What?


MRC is running its Notable Quotables of 2005...

"An Advocate for the Right."
— Headline over a New York Times "news analysis" of Judge John Roberts’ judicial philosophy, July 28.

vs.

"Balanced Jurist at Home in the Middle."
— Headline over a June 27, 1993 New York Times story on Supreme Court nominee Ruth Bader Ginsburg.


Chronic (What) cles


Since the "Lazy Sunday" video is EVERYWHERE, I was gonna let it go. But I love this graphic (featuring the very underrated Chris Parnell) so much, get your Chronic on.

Court Jesters


More reasons to like my boo Scalia...

{Justice Antonin Scalia's wit is widely admired, and now it has been quantified. He is, a new study concludes, 19 times as funny as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.}

Friday, December 30, 2005

Punk'd 2


Though not as good as this, this is still nice and ballsy...

{The best colleges strive to out-prank one another. Students at Yale scored a big victory during last year's football match against Harvard when they passed out pieces of paper to thousands of fans on the Harvard side of the stadium. The fans were told that, when held up, the bits would spell “Go Harvard”. In fact they spelled something else.}

Brokeback Throwback


Gay cowboys, old-school.

I stand behind what I've said. Dammit.

You'll not hear me utter the love-whose-name-must-not-be-mumbled. You'll not see me takin' that dirt road to Corn Holler. My magic johnson won't get caught in anyone's chocolate socket. You can bet my babymaker won't--oh, are you still reading?

Don't have a Happy New Year!


Again, I've often told girlfriend-not-Jen that you don't "pursue" happiness. Happiness is a byproduct--it is what happens while you're doing other things. The NYT says so, too...

{"Those only are happy," he [John Stuart Mill] came to believe, "who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way." For our own culture, steeped as it is in the relentless pursuit of personal pleasure and endless cheer, that message is worth heeding.

So in these last days of 2005 I say to you, "Don't have a happy new year!" Have dinner with your family or walk in the park with friends. If you're so inclined, put in some good hours at the office or at your favorite charity, temple or church. Work on your jump shot or your child's model trains. With luck, you'll find happiness by the by. If not, your time won't be wasted. You may even bring a little joy to the world.}

Speaking of Movies...


VCRs killed movie-going. The cocksuckers sitting around me make no distinction between being in a theater and being in their home-that-is-parkable, on their bedsofa, huffing paint, eating Cheese Whiz, digging, arguing with their third wife and five illegitimate kids, ... not to put too fine a point on it. I should get to kick these people in the nuts.

But, worse than them, I should get to wish nut cancer (not its technical term) upon the people who sell, buy, and run those commercials that play before previews begin.

So to the Didn't I Already Pay for This Movie people, I give not kicks or cancer, but kisses and hugs and something perhaps they'd like crocheted and standing ovations and kidneys if needed.

Enough Already

I heart this graphic.

I need a 'roid cushion for movies these days. I may start taking a sleeping bag and thermos.

I had my next birthday during "LOTR3."

I think they had a presidential election in the time I was in that last "Harry Potter."

They'd have to start "King Kong" 5 minutes before takeoff to fit it in on a flight from La Guardia to Miami.

Is the goal to make movies as long as/longer than the actual length of the event they are depicting? The Titanic sinking took 2:40. Its movie? 3:14. If I'm gonna watch something 3:14, it better be about those places where girls are going wild at.

Seriously, if Jerry Seinfeld stopped at 30 minutes, what makes "Memoirs of a Geisha" worth 2:24?

OBL as Source

I've been telling my girlfriend-until-I-get-Jen this for months...

{AMERICA'S MOST WANTED Why is Osama bin Laden still at large more than four years after 9/11? The new C.I.A. director, Porter J. Goss, provided a big hint. He said that the United States had a good idea of where Mr. bin Laden was hiding, but that sovereign states would not let a proper manhunt be mounted. Mr. Goss's statement seemed to confirm the widespread suspicion that Mr. bin Laden was hiding in the mountains of northern Pakistan but that President Pervez Musharraf, fearing the reaction of Islamic militants, was not eager for him to be captured. Mr. Musharraf himself lent support to that theory, telling an interviewer: "One would prefer that he's captured somewhere outside Pakistan. By some other people."}

An additional reason there have been no more attacks/we have prevented attacks on U.S. soil since 9/11, no? Surveilling OBL is wiser than capturing/killing him, no? Alive he is our best info source, no? Otherwise we tip our hand, no? Yes?

Thursday, December 29, 2005

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Paris Hilton

What. I think we've all been there. Well...not *there*. I mean we've all done that. Well...not *done* that. Oh, you know what I mean.

And I promise this is not payback for my Christmas card.

Litte Red Hoax

I had this.

Now boing boing gots this...

{ The head of policy studies at the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth wants the university to suspend a student who made up a story about being grilled by federal antiterrorism agents over a library book and to reprimand faculty members who spread the tale.

Following the student's admission Friday that it was a hoax, Clyde Barrow, chairman of the policy studies department, said UMass should punish the student and faculty members, in particular two history professors who repeated the unsubstantiated assertion of the history student to a New Bedford Standard-Times reporter.

(...) ''It's unbelievable that this student is not being suspended for a semester," wrote Barrow, who said he does not know the student's identity. ''It's even more unbelievable that the faculty who jumped the gun on this story and actively promoted it on campus, the Internet, and blogs will walk away from their misconduct without any consequences."}

Remind Me Why We Fund These Bastards

Power Line's got this...

{According to a new poll (see table 2.22(2)), 65 percent of Palestinians support al Qaeda terror attacks on the United States and European countries. Well-to-do Palestinians supported such attacks to nearly the same extent. The poll was conducted by FAFO - a Norwegian-based NGO not known for sympathy toward Israel or antipathy toward the PA. In fact, FAFO's press release does not mention this particular result (the poll is comprehensive and nearly all of the results are fascinating).

Palestinian Media Watch (PMW) Director Itamar Marcus had this to say:

What is striking is the willingness of Palestinians to turn against even the Western countries upon whom they are so totally dependent in order to progress. The poll underscores what PMW has been documenting for years - the profoundly negative impact hate education has had on PA society. . .Palestinians are not in direct conflict with the US, and certainly have counted on the Europeans as active allies. And yet an overwhelming majority desire to see Europeans and Americans killed by a religion-based terror organization.}

Tru, Dat

College *is* an investment.

The Fools have this...

{College campuses offer the public such cultural mainstays as gridiron classics in the fall and March Madness in the spring. But beyond sports entertainment, they also foster academic achievements and scientific advancements. Even more, university centers can teach investors where to put their money. Fool contributor Jeremy MacNealy names Abercrombie & Fitch, Apple Computer, and Starbucks as his top three investment opportunities found on college campuses.}

Punk'd


boing boing has this...

{Google Video has a homemade video up done by a bunch of guys who played a practical joke on their friend. They basically TiVo'd the Texas lottery show and then bought a lottery ticket for their friend the next day and played it back like it was live. The guy goes nuts thinking that he just won the Texas lottery and screams and yells and jumps up and down and hugs everyone.}

A Quickie


Faculty shit today. But Slate's got this...

{Das Gloat:

When I or virtually any other mainstream journalist writes something, it goes through several filters before the reader sees it. At least four experienced Times editors will have examined this column, for example. They will have checked it for accuracy, fairness, grammar, taste and libel, among other things. -- The late David Shaw, Pulitzer-winning L.A. Times media critic, 3/27/2005

You had to wonder where were those fabled four layers of experienced editors these past few days when a) the paper ran an April Fool's press release in a front-page story as if it were actual news and b) publisher Jeff Johnson's Sunday opinion section ran a piece charging that "the Rev. Jerry Falwell claimed that Ellen DeGeneres played a role in the 9/11 terrorist attacks and Hurricane Katrina because she was the host of the Emmy Awards ceremony preceding both events," something the paper now admits Falwell didn't say.}

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Is There a Chiropractor in the House?

$50 to whoever can watch all 2:56 of this.

The Outrage is Outrageous

Rivkin and Casey have an interesting op-ed in today's NYT.

{The Constitution's framers did not vest absolute power in any branch of the federal government, including the courts, but they did create a strong executive and equipped the office with sufficient authority to act energetically to defend the national interest in wartime. That is what President Bush has done, and nothing more.}

Monday, December 26, 2005

"We Have to Exterminate White People"

Michelle's got the crackpots of the year.

Professor Kamau Kambon (left) is one, for sure. He says white people have to be exterminated. I say I hope Santa shits in his stocking.

Here's the video.


Harrumph!

I like this from Irish Pennants:

{Those who have demanded severe punishment for whoever it was who told reporters that Valerie Plame worked at the CIA have been remarkably forgiving about who leaked the existence of the NSA intercept program, which - like the earlier leak of secret CIA prisons for al-Qaeda bigwigs and unlike the Plame kerfuffle - has done serious harm to our national security.

But fortunately, by clapping New York Times reporter Judith Miller in irons until she talked, overzealous special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has set a valuable precedent.

Attorney General Gonzales should subpoena Mr. Risen and Mr. Lichtblau, and have them cited for contempt of court if they do not disclose their source or sources. Maybe they could share Judy Miller's old cell.}

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry [insert here whatever you're celebrating]!

Brown v. Board


Go 'head, girl, go 'head, get down.

{While attending a Pennsylvania Republican Party picnic, Jennie Mae Brown bumped into her state representative and started venting.

"How could this happen?" Ms. Brown asked Representative Gibson C. Armstrong two summers ago, complaining about a physics professor at the York campus of Pennsylvania State University who she said routinely used class time to belittle President Bush and the war in Iraq. As an Air Force veteran, Ms. Brown said she felt the teacher's comments were inappropriate for the classroom.

The encounter has blossomed into an official legislative inquiry, putting Pennsylvania in the middle of a national debate spurred by conservatives over whether public universities are promoting largely liberal positions and discriminating against students who disagree with them.}