Saturday, December 24, 2005

Revelation 21:8

Instapundit has this follow-up involving this genius.

{ANOTHER HOMELAND SECURITY HOAX:

It rocketed across the Internet a week ago, a startling newspaper report that agents from the US Department of Homeland Security had visited a student at the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth at his New Bedford home simply because he had tried to borrow Mao Tse-Tung's ''Little Red Book" for a history seminar on totalitarian goverments. . . .

But yesterday, the student confessed that he had made it up after being confronted by the professor who had repeated the story to a Standard-Times reporter.

The professor, Brian Glyn Williams, said he went to his former student's house and asked about inconsistencies in his story. The 22-year-old student admitted it was a hoax, Williams said.

''I made it up," the professor recalled him saying. ''I'm sorry. . . . I'm so relieved that it's over."

The student was not identified in any reports. The Globe interviewed him Thursday but decided not to write a story about his assertion, because of doubts about its veracity. The student could not be reached yesterday.

Williams said the student gave no explanation. But Williams, who praised the student as hard-working and likeable, said he was shaken by the deception.

''I feel as if I was lied to, and I have no idea why," said Williams, an associate professor of Islamic history. He said the possibility the government was scrutinizing books borrowed by his students ''disturbed me tremendously."

I'm disturbed tremendously that such a suspicious story was accepted so uncritically by alleged critical thinkers -- and I'm a bit surprised that the student's identity is still being protected. Why shouldn't we know who's behind this?}

I Got Harrumphed!

No Afternoon Delight, This


You wouldn't see this at a Starland Vocal Band party. I'm just sayin'.

{Dec. 22, 2005 (UPI delivered by Newstex) -- Three men were stabbed and three were shot during the New York release party for slain rapper Notorious B.I.G.'s CD, "Duets: The Final Chapter."}

The Rich are Different...


They have more money. But...

{The middle class is disappearing by getting richer. Only 9% of American families had an inflation adjusted income of more than $75,000.00 back in 1967. Today 27% do. The average American family’s net worth (assets minus liabilities) is more than $100,000.00, according too Census Bureau figures. The median American household income is over $54,000.00. We have come a long way.}

Alas, a rising tide doesn't lift all these boats.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Tastes Like Chicken?



I'm torn between the "Nutrious Beef Penis in Pot" and the "Nutrious Young Pigeon Casserole."

Those Chinese. Gotta love their Engrish English.

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You, Paris Hilton



I'm sure my card is on its way. Things are slower here in the South. Plus, my local post office just might be dusting this card for STDs.

Will That Be on the Test?



Here, dear taxpayer, parent, et al, is where your money goes...

{The Dirty Dozen

America’s Most Bizarre and Politically Correct College Courses

Princeton University’s Prostitute, Cross Dressing, and Same-Sex Eroticism Course ranked the most bizarre Class

HERNDON, VA – As tuition rates climb to an average of over $21,000 per year, today’s college students study prostitution, teeth whitening, and Beavis and Butthead. The following Dirty Dozen highlights the most bizarre and troubling instances of leftist activism supplanting traditional scholarship in our nation’s colleges and universities.}

NYT Update

After

Before

Public Apology



I'd nearly get a contact high every time I graded one of "Mitch's" essays. While they were no "Planes, Trains, and Plantains: The Story of Oedipus," just fingering the pages got me light headed. I swear puffs of smoke would rise every time I turned a page. Some pages would have a piece torn off--doubtless he needed to roll a fattie and this was the handiest paper. If he were to pee in something, I'm sure stems would come out.

Mitch would occasionally stop by my office, the smell of marijuana pouring off his shirt, coat, hair, bookbag, the roach clip he wore around his neck. After he'd leave I'd get suspicious looks from the next person who stopped by.

One particularly strong aroma-ed day, I said, "Duuude..."

He replied something about the smell being the scent of a candle his roommate burned.

"Riiiiight," I must have said.

But now there's this. So Mitch, my bad.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Times Timing



Maybe the NYT didn't mention this because of this.

Eavesdropped


Why didn't the NYT's story mention that places like, oh, the Brooklyn Bridge; a few buildings in Washington, D.C.; the MGM Grand, the Excalibur, and New York, New York in Las Vegas; the Hoover Dam; were all saved through the Patriot Act and eavesdropping? Not to mention the capture of this useless fucking fuck.

Care for a Game of H-O-R-S-E?

Monday, December 19, 2005

National Jen Day



Only if this came on a pillowcase could I be happier!

National Jen Day



This should be embroidered on something!

National Jen Day



YES!

I did wet myself!

National Jen Day



Jen & Jess waiting.

I'm about to wet myself.

Whither the Ugg Boots?



Gawker tells me these are NYC A&F staffers on lunchbreak in 14 degree weather.

But it could very well be a shot of my 34 degree campus. The kids are all up into some flip-flops in the cold. Must the Adderall.

Harrumph!


My future employer's got this.

Does it coincide with this?

{"I suspected that many media outlets would tilt to the left because surveys have shown that reporters tend to vote more Democrat than Republican," said Tim Groseclose, a UCLA political scientist and the study's lead author. "But I was surprised at just how pronounced the distinctions are."

"Overall, the major media outlets are quite moderate compared to members of Congress, but even so, there is a quantifiable and significant bias in that nearly all of them lean to the left," said co‑author Jeffrey Milyo, University of Missouri economist and public policy scholar.}

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Cure for Constipation



I haven't missed an episode of The McLauglin Group in donkey's years.

But every time I see Lawrence O'Donnell come on my TV I climb up on top of the set and take a shit. That's because I've already pissed on the front of it.

All Up into Some Chronic


Chronicles, that is.

I say to "Brock," who just turned in for extra credit six pages titled "Showgirls: The Best Movie Ever. Ever.," broaden your horizons.

Quote of the Day III


"Mao Tse-Tung is completely harmless." Brian Glyn Williams, associate professor of Islamic history at the University of Massachusetts-Dartmouth.

Quote of the Day II



"Only 7 more shopping days till Holiday."

Amy Poehler is the best thing to come SNL's way since Gene Frenkle.

Never Too Old for Farting Elves


And it was only a month ago you swore you would never speak to these people again.

This week, when you are digging your fingernails into your palms just to get through Christmas dinner with the fam, let the Farting Elves bring you a little peace on earth.

KU Religion Professor Gets Saved?



Go here for Michelle's update on this.

Quote of the Day


"The terrorist threat to our country will not expire in two weeks."PRESIDENT BUSH, referring to the deadline when key provisions of the USA Patriot Act will end.

To me, the essential question on the majority of these kinds of issues is, Would OBL be rooting for this? I don't want to be on his side of *anything*.

I mean, do you think OBL is on Bush's side, or Howard Dean's? Do you think he roots for Nancy Pelosi, or Joe Lieberman? Do you think he is pro-eavesdropping, or anti? Do you think he hopes the current Patriot Act gets extended, or not?